Film project to share LGBTQ+ end-of-life and bereavement stories

A new film project that will share stories from the LGBTQ+ community, from people who are facing the end of their lives and those experiencing bereavement, aims to improve the support available to them. The project, funded by the University of Warwick, will features stories from lived experiences shared by participants.

Professor Michele Aaron, who is leading the project explained that LGBTQ+ people often find it hard to access end-of-life care and bereavement services because they fear discrimination.

She has previously worked on another series of films, about people affected by terminal illness, and says that there was a lack of films depicting the reality of death; an absence that was even more of an issue for LGBTQ+ people. This latest film aims to demystify death and bereavement in the LGBTQ+ community.

"This project is all about harnessing the power of film to bring these really important stories into the world," Prof Michele Aaron said.

"Hollywood tells us it's painless; it's white; it's heroic; it's straight. And we don't have truthful, honest depictions of everyday LGBT experience in the world. We have sensationalist or exceptional stories. But what we're looking at is real-life stories."

The project is a collaboration between the university, queer film-maker El Jones, and the charity Compassionate Communities UK.

Support for those taking part and sharing their stories as part of the film will be provided by Helen Juffs. Juffs is a queer end-of-life doula who offers spiritual and emotional guidance to those dealing with a terminal diagnosis.

Her experience has highlighted the reluctance of LGBTQ+ people going into institutions such as hospices because of the need to come out to fellow patients or medical staff. She remembers one particular gay woman in her 90s who was concerned that well-meaning care staff might pressure her to conform to feminine standards that she did not want to conform to.

"Your identity doesn't change just because you're dying," she said. "You're still from that community and you still need to be respected and treated accordingly."

She added that LGBTQ+ people might also be at risk of micro-aggressions in these spaces explaining: "It might only be a tiny thing in somebody else's mind, like assuming that you've got a husband if you're a woman, assuming that the person who visits you all the time is your brother or sister because they're the same sex as you. It's the raft of microaggressions that really make life uncomfortable in institutions."

One of the people taking part in the project is Trevor Yellon, a GP who struggled to find suitable bereavement support after losing his husband, Drew, to cancer in 2023.

"I needed someone who could understand why, as a gay man, some elements of my loss felt different and difficult - and I wasn't able to do that," said Dr Yellon.

"This project... will not only create awareness of the needs of LGBTQ+ communities at end-of-life and during bereavement, but also give insight into our real lives, our monogamous, committed long-term relationships, and our care, love and grief."